Tyreke Evans and the Curse of the Hyperbaric Chamber
It’s a well-known fact that employing the services of a Hyperbaric Chamber in order to replenish your body and heal it quicker is basically playing Russian Roulette with your career.
It’s the sports equivalent of letting a black cat stroll in front of you, walking under a latter, breaking a mirror, spilling salt and letting your significant other have possession of the remote. Nothing good can come of it.
So when Tyreke Evans decided to try one out in Roseville a few days ago, we all held our breath with extreme trepidation. Less than a week later and Tyreke is doubling the speed limit and getting busted by airplane technology (DAMN YOU, TECHNOLOGY! I ANGRILY SHAKE MY FIST AT YOU!)
Well, the reason this happened is because of the dreaded Curse of the Hyperbaric Chamber. It’s one of the biggest urban legends in the world and with good reason.
Gilbert Arenas used a hyperbaric chamber and tried to change the altitude in his entire home. He eventually was suspended for most of the 2009-2010 after bringing guns into the Wizards locker room.
Terrell Owens tried to recover from his intense workouts and injuries by using one. It not only derailed his career by making him a complete jerk but apparently it also caused his head to expand and his neck to completely shrink.
Michael Jackson had one and… well… we all know how the last 15 years of his life went…
And now thanks to Lamont Peterson’s Twitter awesome updates and photos, we now know why Tyreke fell victim to some poor judgment.
(Perhaps there was redecorating by me with the room he was in)
Or maybe it’s the fact that the same guy set these guys up with this same model of hyperbaric chambers. Conspiracy?!?